Wednesday, May 19, 2010

5 years without fuss ?

The school saga continues and just as Ruhi outgrows her cocoon, Rayyan's travails begin.

I landed up to meet the teacher on the walk-in Friday and introduced myself :

"I am Rayyan's Mother'.

The teacher had been smiling politely from her desk as I entered from the further end of the room. Her smile vanished at my introduction as she gestured me to be seated.

She said : "Ah.. just as well that you came by, I was going to call you Mrs. Wasi." Deja Vu !

She said Rayyan speaks "weird things". The other day when the children were routinely asked if they were happy or sad that morning, Rayyan's eyes swelled up. He said he was "Very sad".

Upon asking the reason he said " because last night I could not finish cleaning up the house before I went to sleep". I cracked up at that and had tears rolling down my eyes. What a cheeky little pretender ! But the teacher cut me short and said " Its not funny".

He was asked to take out his swimming trunks from the school bag and he said : I havn't got any, I am just a beggar".

And another times when he hadn't finished his homework, he told the teacher his mother "lives somewhere else" and sometimes comes home late at night, "at 11 pm" to be precise.

Also, that he visits his mother on weekends and his Dad just looks him up when he is ready for school in the mornings. It looked like the teacher half believed what she had heard. I told her I was at home most of the time these days and that I do flexi hours but the tales continued, and the air became heavy in that room.

" Have you been ignoring him ?"
" Is there something wrong at home ?"
"Why would he say he is a don't have that there a possibility of abusive language..."

My head was spinning. Of course I ignore him a lot. Of course he talks gibberish and thats one reason he is so popular. Of course he told Sridevi Maasi that her hair looked like Donkey's hair....but then we always thought he was so amusing and so cool.

He isn't shy. He talks nines to the dozens, he is sharp, much sharper than Ruhi and he is a happy child. I had never figured something could be wrong with the little chap. The teacher said I needed to watch him and that they had already started moral lessons with him about right thing and wrong thing and that God gives silver stars for truth spoken and black stars for lies. It didn't feel right to me. I didn't want a judgmental, ill natured God up there dishing out stars and stuff but then I was the mother whose child was telling highly detailed contrived stuff and it was obvious I had got it all wrong !

On another day he told the teacher (again with tearful eyes) that he was "so sad" because his mother buys new toys for him all the time when he has so many old toys that he can play with. I started to feel like someone caught doing illegal stuff " but Ma'm, thats not correct, he always demands new toys...". At the same time I felt like rushing home and spanking his tiny bum !!

The teacher agrees it may all be attention getting tactics but then I must realise that he is demanding attention and work on it. So thats my summer holiday homework to watch him closely, encourage him to speak the truth and wean him off the maid who may be inspiring him to fantasize himself as a cleaning boy or a beggar !!!

I came home and gently prodded him about what he had been saying in school. He pretended not to listen and then looked me straight into the eye and said " do you know I have REAL parents and ANOTHER parents?"

I gulped down spit and pretended to be casual and asked "Am I the REAL mother or ANOTHER one ?"

He said " REAL mother" most somberly.

"Who is the fake mother ?"

"Sheetal "

I have no friend by that name. My husband knows no woman by that name too (hopefully !). There is just no Sheetal in our universe.

I asked : "Hmmmm...who is the fake father then ?"

"Sheetal 2 ....both are Sheetal"

I wanted to laugh but I killed that urge. I thought I should tell him the angry God will give a black star but that wasnt an attractive thought either !

I told him it wasn't nice to make up stuff. He got mighty worked up and said he wasn't making up anything and that Sheetal 2 often comes to the Garage and I could meet him there.

I decided to change the topic and try another day !


Spirited Seeker said...

I can imagine you being worried. May be he can join theatre classes for kids. He obviously likes telling stories and he can emote well... so may be his energies can be channelised in doing stuff like these.

Take care and God bless...

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Hi, I've been a long time lurker. This post made me smile. You've got a real cheeky little boy there.. adorable too :) ROFL @ the sheetals. I'd say you should find out who/what in the garage he pretends is this sheetal.. might be helpful? Anyway, do keep us posted. I love your posts, even though they are few and far beween, they are all very honest :)

Anonymous said...
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Z said...

I can't believe the teacher is being taken in though - maybe you should have a meeting with her when he is there!

Trojan said...

Okay may be its me, the therapist talking but no matter how lovely story it is (it is awesome), please make sure you take him to a child psychologist and have him checked for Schizophrenia please. I worry for little kids and would like to give attention from now on when its needed than waiting until it is hard to help them...Hopefully you understands it!

the mad momma said...

uff. the damn teachers are crazy. its why i moved my kids from there. they jump the gun far too often. the brat is treated as normal in his new school and he talks a lot more gibberish than Rayyan and you know that.
big hugs

Girlonthebridge said...

not sure if you'll read this comment. i came here because apparently we are mixed marriage sisters (via mad momma). I live in the US and rarely read blogs during work...ok i lied, i do during lunch and I am literally shaking with tears rolling down my cheeks - laughing, not crying like rayyan. Too too funny. Sheetal 2. I love that he picked a unisex name for his fantasies. Let's face it, it's economical. :)

Inexplicably said...

Girl on the bridge, of course I read comments ! I hang on to each word that people write because I feel so clueless. Someone suggested I should consult a therapist about Rayyan. For now, I am just laughing between getting worried :)))))

Aneela Z said...

Hi Slipperysurface, , one other "Im here because of MM" * raises hand*, I am so glad I read this post, thank the Lord for a kid who is not a "brick in the wall". My nephew and niece were just like that, my sister said his teachers would actually look forward to his Urdu essays and the "kahani ghar ghar ki" they narrated. He would write about kids he wanted to visit but unki aur meri mummy ki dushmani hai, about his school holidays (or lack of) as his mom wakes him up at 6 am and makes him work till midnight (jab woh thak haar kar so jata hai), about how they go to Lahore and abandon him on his own. the niece wrote about dance parties they attend every night and she has to baby sit. Rocking family I tell you!!
Sadly they are teenagers now and their stories not so colorful