I obsess !

Balvinder my blogging friend, who for some reason gives me the odd feeling of familiarity beyond the realm of logic has tagged me to share with you 5 addictions of mine. So here goes : Marijuana, Animal Sex, Alcohol, Shoplifting & Pedophilia. Why am I being morbidly insane ? Dunno. I want to put off certain readers of inappropriate age and intelligence who I know read my blog. I want the damn pressure off my mind to be politically correct. A friend casually said I belonged to politically correct, culturally correct, morally correct kind of a society ( or something to that effect). I was stunned. That's so correct. That's what I spend 99% of my life doing. But nope, this isn't part of that script. Whatever.

Addiction one : the absolutely uncontrollable urge to always, always, always tidy up. Today on the dinner table I noticed I was constantly placing the three serving dishes in a straight line on the runner. What's odd ? Well, this was after anyone moved the dish slightly to help themselves. It was in between every morsel that I ate. I think it can be insanely irritating for anyone else on that table. But my husband has resigned to this one. My friend Richa threatens to murder me if I don't stop tidying up the bedcover each time anyone turns on their bum. I keep tidying up the house till well after everyone is asleep. When there is nothing left to tidy up, I open up the shoe rack, the toys, the 'raddi' newspapers. Just anything. I also keep getting the feeling that the house is getting devoured by the stuff in it. I feel we need to immediately empty up the stuff or else we will get buried under it. I regularly keep giving away stuff. Sometimes I give away my husband's urgent important stuff in the mad rush to clear up.

Addiction 2 : Sometime ago when they were launched, I went on a binge on Bingo Chips. Day in and day out I'd munch away those packet non stop. I get maniacally addicted to food stuff for periods of time and while these addictive bursts last, I go over the top and higher on it. Before Bingo Chips it was ' Amla' then Popcorn, before Popcorn it was a particular brand of, mouth freshener. What is worse is that I have now also started forgetting whatever it was that I was stuffing myself with. My brother in law was visiting us last month and he asked me about 'Peppy' Cheese balls. I thought he'd lost it so he explained that a few years ago when he was visiting I was stuffing myself endlessly with Peppy's. Seems like he bought me some packets too.

Addiction 3 : The Internet. And more specifically google on the internet. This one is serious like all the others. Jaadu hai, nasha hai etc. Its a virus that's spread all over and I know I am not alone and that makes me accept this one comfortably.

Addiction 4 : Clothes, clothes, more clothes. I love clothes more than any other indulgence. So I must have more and more for everyone - my kids, the husband, the maid whoever. I obsess over my clothes, I spend a lifetime planning what to wear at weddings, birthday parties, funerals even meetings. And I love that bit of opening my wardrobe and rummaging through piles and piles of clothes, deciding what to wear. I suspect I sound crazy but I find it ever so creative to put together an outfit. You'd probably think I am the world's most natty dresser but its exactly the opposite. I am a hippie most of the time except for when there is an invitation !! LOL. So much so that an year ago my father in law sat me down for a serious chat. He said I dress down all the time and that I have no style. The grand old man is 90 years old and he has much for me to look up to him so this goes. He said if I continue dressing so eclectically, it may be considered 'too young' ! Maybe. But who cares !!!

Addiction 5 : Ruhi my 6 year old first born. She occupies all of my waking thoughts. She saps me of all my energies, sucks my soul, often makes me wish I was dead but I am obsessively, compulsively involved with her. I am just another fond and indulgent mother to Rayyan, so I know the thing with Ruhi is an obsession. I suspect this OCD has given me high blood pressure. A few years later I fear it will also give me heart disease.

As per the rules, I got to tag 5 people. I know sometimes, one doesn't really want to be thrust upon with the tag so here is my list, who may please choose to ignore the tag if they feel like :). Though it would be fun if they went along:

Multimenon Interesting to know what a 19 year old obsesses about !

Solitaire Would love to know the 'psycho-angle' !!

Mystic Margarita Just! Love her flair..

MM Even though I know 59 other folk would have already tagged her to do this ! My vote too !

Edita 

Caterpillar to the Butterfly !

Ruhi, over these magical years of my life, on the brink of her 7th birthday next month !

One Day in little Rayyi's life... !

Ok Mampi, here goes :)

Of late, I have been having this strange urge to delete this blog. I deleted my Orkut account yesterday, a week before that I deleted my Ryze account...I can't put a finger on what's happening here except that it could well be the hormones ! But this post wasn't meant to be about my pituitary gland - it about little Rayyan and his little play school. Every once a year they invite you to spend a day in class. I've done the number 4 times with Ruhi and once with Rayyan last year and its something that I've enjoyed immensely. One of my hidden ambitions is to be kindergarten teacher !

I had been traveling most of last week and the weekend is a circus anyway so Monday morning after packing off the babies to school I toyed with the idea of calling up the school and calling it off ! I'd be damned if I went to school with unwashed hair and I wanted nothing better than a quiet morning to myself ! My husband gave me that look which I know means 'always a raw deal for rayyan, innit !' Its true, I drive myself harder for Ruhi and I got guilt.

In the shower the the teacher called "Mrs Wasi, where are you ?" " Please be in time for assembly, Rayyan will sing a song".

I knew he would collapse at the sight of me, it still doesn't work - he has still not found his feet, though I know he is trying. I reached just after the assembly and they told me that he had sung his song. I was glad to be late!

He was sitting with his back towards me in a semi circle of tiny people. As I stepped in the teacher asked them " do you know whose mummy is here today?" Everyone looked back except for him and a squeaky voice elsewhere said "Rayyan Wasi". He turned back slightly and gave me a self conscious smile. I expected him to break into tears and run towards me. Instead he turned back his head slowly and kept sitting on his chair. The teacher was talking about " John Brown's Farm'. He looked at me a couple of times again but he was fine, though quieter than most. I was relieved ! We were getting there !

Teacher : Rayyani (she calls him that!), whats a Dog's baby called ?
Rayyan : Goofy
Teacher : No Rayyan, its called a Pup ! Whats a Cat's baby called ?
Rayyan : Ganga

The teacher moved on to the next kid. Perhaps it was embarrassing for her as it was for me. His cousin has a puppy dog and of course he knows what puppies are so why would he say 'Goofy' !!! He could have said "chchotta Kutta' or something for God's sake ! And 'Ganga' ? A kitten is called 'Ganga' ??? I thought the sight of me had made him delirious. Sometimes he talks nonsense just for effect. I scowled at him and made a funny face, so while the other kids discussed farm animals - he stood alone at the door in defiance and stared back at them.



The next was the dance and music class where he chose to sulk. He sat with his head in my lap while the rest had fun. The teacher thought that he was extra clingy because I had not been at home most of the week. But in the pottery class he abandoned me. He loves the clay, just like me. He rolled clay balls while I chatted up the pottery teacher. I chew his brains each time I spot him and this time I wanted to know the 'desi' way to fire the clay. I know its done with cow-dung cakes and all and the guy never seriously believes that I've got serious interest in doing the dirty stuff. He was patiently indulgent with me as usual. I've got to figure how to get cow-dung cakes now.

Hands washed, susu done, the kids sit down for tiffin. Rayyan ate the ketchup in his tiffin box, first with a spoon and then with his fingers. Back home, MIL announced in that sarcastic style only mother in laws can speak in " today his mother must have fed him tiffin, everything has come right back". Yeah right.

The next class, Rayyi sulked again - it was the free play session but he wanted to play football. He was forgiven the tantrum again since the 'mother had been away so long'. Thank God for that since even if I had not been away, he would still have chosen a football over every other temptation on earth. In the library class, his friends wanted me to read out the books to them, but not him. Until finally jealousy got the better of him.

I was happy to see he had made a few pals, though they were friendlier towards him than he was towards them. The only exception was this taller little girl with red rimmed glasses, Alisha who he smiled at often and who he brought to me to get a picture clicked !

On the way back home, I asked Rayyan whats the baby of a Dog called ? He again said "goofy" and that a Cat's baby was "Ganga" because Kirti didi (the maid) had told him the story of a pup called Goofy and a kitten called Ganga. 

LOL. I am not going to forget this in a hurry ! Raw deal or not, I love you Rayyan Wasi.

The 'Love' Tag !

I've never been tagged ! Says volumes about my blogging credibility :)

So when Ritu tagged me - for the first 10 minutes I thought she'd written on my blog by mistake ! I've done that - posted a comment on someone else's blog thinking they were someone else, but I wasn't sure more of this species exists.

So I sneaked back to her blog to check and saw there was this post about 'getting ready to be fifty' on her blog. I shrieked ! Naaaaaaaah, she couldn't be tagging me to do this ! I don't want to ever ever ever think about what I am going to do at fifty. I am not going to be fifty ever. Period. Then I thought perhaps she was being evil at the behest of my enemies. I am told that I've got this inflated sense of self importance that mostly makes me think there are aliens out there out to get me. I don't believe that but maybe its true ?

Anyway after wasting half an hour wondering WTF was her 'tagged you' comment about I sneaked in upon her blog again. She had just then uploaded this post about '20 wash up your dirty linen' questions. Seems she first wrote me a comment and then posted her stuff ! 

Tease !! :))))))

So here goes, the rules first :

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Though that would suck BTW !

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

Today, this day and age I think I'd call up the salon and book for pedicure, hair cut, facial and immediately go shopping for more clothes that I do not need. I'd be damned if he did and be convinced, it could only be because I don't look as good anymore ! LOL. I'd go to any lengths to check out the chick he is with and trash her - too fat, too thin, bimbo, BTM, whatever. And then I'd move on. It does not matter anymore. If he wanted to get to me he should have tried it when I was younger ! Back then I'd take a knife and slice off the expensive seat covers of his fancy open jeep, pour acid over the tyres and toss a brick in full public view to crash the windscreen of his girl friend's brand new Maruti car & more, before I moved on.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?

Had to think hard about this one ! I realise how tempting it is to give smart answers here. But I won't since the truth is that after years of anguish over Ruhi's school admission, whenever I read 'dream come true' I only think of school admission ! A desire no more since she got the wonderful school she deserves. So hmmm....after considering many many things on my wish-list, I realise a true dream come true would only be that house by the sea with bay windows and tons of sunshine and me. Want it harder since I know how very impossible it is.

3. If you could, whose butt would you like to kick?

I wish I had the balls to be honest about this one. If my blog was the dusty old place with cobwebs till the floor, like it used to be - I'd tell it. But I really do so much want to do this in spirit to this one person who has the power to make me very angry and very silly almost all the time. Though I feel its coming soon and I'd be proud of myself if I stop the whining and with dignity as much as honesty, kick that butt!!!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

In order of priority - Give away a third of it to my husband so that he can buy back his life from his work. Buy that house by the sea pronto and do it up ! Travel to every nook and corner of the world, Business Class. Pay for all that it takes to become 5 pounds thinner and will the rest to my children, my brother and my friends. As you would have realised I have no clue how much a billion dollars can fetch - to me its an endless supply of money !

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Weird question this one ! My best friend(s) are women mostly and YIKES NO THANK YOU TO THAT ! But if it was a guy and if I got to that stage of being best friends with him, I'd own him for life and after.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

This question must be kiddin ! Its like - Is eating the icecream more satisfying than craving for it !!

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

I'd wait forever. Till the last day of my life. I am an optimist.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Keep it a 'secret' I guess !

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Compulsory Basic Education for all. I think fixing that in itself fix much more.

10. Do you lie?

LOL ! Funny this one - after writing your life's confessions here, you'd make me say I lied ! Yes, I lie when there is no other way and when I know its a lie the other person wants to hear.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

10 years hence, Ruhi will be 17 years old. She would be in the last year of her school - on the threshold of a beautiful life ahead. I'd be waiting in the wings, holding her hand and helping her take off to fly. Simultaneously Rayyan would be 13 and I'd be in school when they throw him out for bad behavior. As an aside, this evening I took the kids to their favourite play pen in the Mall. He socked the face of a cheeky little girl when she accidently collided with him. After which he howled louder and longer than she did. I was shocked, embarrassed, ashamed in quick successive emotions as I tried to mend the situation. But yeah, I get the whiff of things to come.

12. What’s your fear?

Of losing those whom I love. Of their death.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

I don't know Ritu at all - but from whatever few interactions I've had with her on my blog I find she is sensitive and has an intuitive understanding of things.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Married to my husband and poor, if that was the only option.

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

The better human being of the two.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

All bole to ? 'Tan, Man, Dhan' as they said in old bollywood ? I got no 'Dhan' so OK to "Tan & Man' !

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

No. I'd carry the grudge to my grave I think. I just did that in fact - carried a grudge to some one's grave. He is dead but I still don't forgive or forget.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

I change flat tyres and gas cylinders, I roll up my sleeves and get my hands dirty, lift suitcases and carry my children around. I am a toughie in every sense of the word. But I can't dream of a life without my husband. I'd refuse singledom despite the perks it brings for me.

19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

Gulzar's song from the film 'Khamoshi' - "Humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehakti khusboo, Haath Se chhu ke ise rishton ka ilzaam na do...". Because it says all that I believe is true about love.

20. I TAG these 6 people because  I’d like to know what their answers would be …

Rinchen
Svarna
Manpreet
Lukkydivz
Roop
Y the woman

About the little girl of mine...

I decided not make a big deal about Ruhi's little Romeo and though it was turning out to be a dig deal in her sweet little melodramatic life, I decided not to blog about it. I was itching though and then just now I  read this and died laughing ! So here I am with the story till now...

Last Saturday I got a call from a little boy with a funny accent "Which family is this?" 

I was flabbergasted "excuse me ?" Little boy tried again " ye kaun si family hai ?"

I said "This is Ruhi's family, you want to speak with her ?" and I called for her, at the same time wondering if the boy was just plain cheeky or a bit weird like he sounded ! She took the call looking absolutely embarrassed right to her big toe. 

I was watching her from the corner of my eye. She gave me a sheepish smile and turned her back towards me. Then she said into the phone "What?"

It seems he invited her to come to his house, so she thrust the phone into my hand and said "talk to mama" and ran away. He asked me if Ruhi can come over, I told him I would try since Noida was far from where we lived. I was feeling a wee bit bad to refuse him. I forgot about the call and went about my chores but after an hour my phone started ringing non stop - the kid must have made 50 calls and I stopped answering after the first few. 

At 4 in the evening his mother called saying that the boy would just not listen and if she could get him over to our house for a bit. Eventually she could not make it either. Ever since, every afternoon while I am at work, I get the same " Which family is this ?" call on my phone.

Sometimes I chat him up and find more about him. I know he plays Tennis every evening and that his grand parents stay in Nagpur and that his mom sent him to this new school since he hated his previous school. 

Made me feel better since this 'previous school' is among the best known schools in Delhi ! I am such a pervert !! LOL

Anyway, on Monday Ruhi came back from school and spent the evening painting an abstract 'something' for Raj since he had requested her for some reciprocal artwork ! I wish I had clicked a picture of what she produced, it was so downright ugly ! There was this dark brown rectangle with a few smaller geometrical shapes on either side adorned with finger painting. I told her it was 'awesome'.

On Tuesday afternoon she came back from school in a sullen mood. Her father asked her several times what the matter was but she kept the long face with the scowl forever. After he stopped asking , she took out a folded piece of paper from her skirt pocket, crushed it into a ball and threw it in front of him.  It was a plain sheet of paper with ' I LOVE YOU' scribbled in capitals on the top left hand. at the bottom was written "Raj Ruhi".

He folded it back and kept it for me. I thought and thought and thought about it. I know all the boys Ruhi has gone to school with for the last 4 years. I know their mums and together we've carried them bawling to their first day of play school. But who knows what's with this new kid..what if he stays all day with servants?...what if he watches adult stuff ? And then I would reprimand the old-fashioned-mother-inside-me and ask her to forget about it. 

Day before yesterday, during the 'getting her to sleep' ceremony, Ruhi snuggled up to me and said she did not wish to go to school. The 'new' kids teased her. 

"About what?" I immediately imagined kids pulling her mile long pig tails and calling her a pony or something. "About Raj". 

"I don't love him mama but they say I do" and she burst into tears.

My mind was made. I must report this to the teacher pronto. The old-fashioned-mother-inside-me rolled up her sleeves. 

I comforted her, told her to stick to her old school gang.  Reminded her of her 6 cousins, all boys and all a bit mad who would go and fix anyone who troubled her ! I surprise myself at how 'feudal' my comforting could be ! But it worked ! She said she'd choose Gurtej for the job since he is a 'sardar' and they would be scared of him! Of course poppet ! lol. 

Thereafter she slept like an angel.

The school has an open day on Saturday and I will be attending. I am in two minds about telling the teacher. 

C'mon curse me, tell me what you think ?

The music in me..

Was reading a lullaby post and became nostalgic...

I can't sing. And its a big deal for me. 

I grew up listening to my parents sing all the time. As a young boy, my father would run away from home to learn classical music from a muslim Ustad in the pre partitioned Punjab. My father is a very fine singer with a soft, melodious voice. 

My mother could sing in that sweet simple way that Tabu sings in that movie Virasat ! It used to embarrass me endlessly though she wasn't all that bad at all. She sincerely believed she had a voice and would diligently note down lyrics of Hindi songs in a worn out little diary. She wouldn't wait for an invitation to sing at weddings and parties while my father would act pricey as family and friends would indulge him no end before he obliged.

I so wanted that I could sing. I knew every song that my father hummed as he sat tinkering with anything that needed to be fixed in the house ! He was a closet mechanic for all kinds of electrical repairs and he would hum his music while he went about his favourite pass time. Ashok Kumar, Hemant Kumar, Manna De, Kishore Kumar, Mohd Rafi, Mukesh, Muzzarat Nazeer, Munni Begum, Farida Khannum, Iqbal Bano....

As a 7  year old, whenever I was alone - in the bathroom, the terrace, cycling home from school... I would sing his songs and pretend to be the greatest singer on earth :

Dheere Dheere, aa re badal...
Ye raat, ye chandni phir kahan
Jaag darde e ishq jaag
Bequrar karke hame yun na jaeeye
Bhala tha kitan apna bachpan
Aye maa, aye maa teri surat se alag, bhagwan ki surta kya hogi
Aanchal se kyun baandh liya, hai mujh pardesi ka pyaar
Jab deep jale Aana, jab shaam Dhale aana
Kitna dukh bhulaya tumne, pyare
Madhuban main radhika naachi re
Na tum hume jano..

Many still to add to the list

...lest I forget them, if that is possible.

I wasn't sure if I was good. I yearned for my father to tell me how I sang but he he never did. Often, he would make fun of my shy attempts to sing. I tried very much to improve, but there was never a word of encouragement. So I never sang in public. In most birthday parties of my childhood, there used to be this standard game of passing the parcel and my heart would jump up to my mouth if ever the parcel stopped at me. There was extreme probability that my chit would require me to sing a song and though I would have rehearsed ten different songs for every such occasion, I would never, never sing.

My youngest brother showed some of my father's talent and interest in singing and I took it upon myself to groom him ! It was funny ! I'd make him learn the lyrics of my father's songs which were rather difficult to sing anyway and every afternoon I'd make him rehearse and like any 'Ustaad Ji' I'd correct the alaap ! I feel so sorry for my brother now ! Though he dutifully sang and danced on call at every birthday party, I never heard him sing a song after he grew up into a boy and a man !! I must have scarred him for life.

When Ruhi was born, I would stay awake most nights for the first couple of years, cradling her in my arms and singing my father's songs to keep her calm and to keep myself awake. 

My favourites were " Dheere dheere aa re badal" and "Bhala tha kitna apna bachpan". Both these reminiscent of my childhood and my bittersweet relationship with my father. Since the songs are so ancient and my husband had never heard them before, I was spared being ticked on how badly I had twisted the tune, just in case he woke up to hear me bray. He is a fine singer himself !

Soon these became lullabys for Ruhi to sleep. Ruhi grew up and much to my husband's disappointment never showed any inclination to sing. 

My son came by three years ago and didn't ever need a lullaby to sleep. I'd put him in the crib and he'd shut eyes like clockwork. I do not remember singing to him at all, though once in a while I may have done it in an absent minded way. 

A few days ago, he was pretending to write a doctor's prescription as I was preparing for Ruhi to be go to bed (its still a ceremony!). He was talking in the background - he talks all the time, often to himself. Methodically, he cut the chatter and started singing :

 "dheere dheere aa re badal, dheere dheere. Raindrops, lollipops, O wott fun itood be"

I stood very still, completely afraid that he would stop if I gave him any attention. He did stop and moved on to the next ditty. I was exhilarated with emotion. He remembers the song from somewhere! My husband gave me a knowing smile. He knows how much these songs mean to me but more than that he is finally content that his son has his music (and mine) in him. 

Happinessss...

I won a prize for this photo ! 

A Sony Ericcson mobile phone, just when I so needed a new phone !

And they walked into a shoe made of ice-cream and fluff...

This evening,  the slimy mother pretended to enjoy watching the special assembly school photos for the umpteenth time. She pointed a curious finger at each little kid and asked all the names. 

'Boo Boo Sticks' was excited like hell and she sang out the names....Nanaki, Meher, Ridhi, Yashaswi, Ashna, Ahaan and Raj and the rest.  The slimy mom made a mental pause. Smiled at the cute little boy with the hint of a dimple, so engrossed with a rather sheepish Ruhi! 

So that be him ! Choooo Chweet ! 

PS: October 8, 2008 : Anticlimax ! The dimpled boy turned out to be Shivi ! The slimy mother got it all wrong as usual !!

Eye Candy of the Diligent kinds !

I know I need to say thank you but I am just too stumped and I do suspect here may be a case of distorted vision ("pyaar mein andha hona") ! LOL.

My blog is a a bit spaced out, OTT with emotion, and sometimes juvenile. Very like me. And when someone gives me an award for being Smart & Brilliant, I am Gobsmacked ( yup, thats the current favourite word for the lack of vocabulary). 

Its taken me a few days to recover and so Diligent Candy a big hug for giving me...

The Brilliant Weblog Award- a prize given to sites and blogs that are smart and brilliant both in their content and their design. The purpose of the prize is topromote as many blogs as possible in the blogsphere. Here are therules to follow:

When you recieve the prize you must write a post showing it, togetherwith the name of who has given it to you, and link back to them. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in content or design. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing them that they have been awarded with the ‘Brilliant Weblog’ award. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional) to.

I pass the sunshine on to:

1. nm : Firstly for being 'there' always. Also for the simple honesty of her sweet blog.
2. my dayzwithmyself : He is funny and its a pity he has disappeared. Temporarily I hope.
3. Mampi : Because 'Singh is King' ! Go figure !
4. Yonearthnot : Brilliantly funny always - without much effort !
5. Amardeep : One of the 'must reads' of mine. Very erudite. Very engaging.
6. High Heel: Always reminds me of 'girly time'. Kewl, funny and so bitchy ! lurvit!
7. Ageless Bonding : Naanstap Naansens !

And many many many others who I do not have on my bookmark bar...copy paste is simple you see ! :)

And the story progresses !

Ringchen asked what happened next in the 'Ruhi, Raj & the Bracelet story' ! 

I was also curious why she had returned the bracelet. I must have asked her more often than she was expecting me to bother so she gave me one of her 'looks' (the knowing, I am the mother of all mothers look) and asked if I wanted her to get the bracelet back ?! 

Checkmate !
I said it was her own wish. She insisted she will get it since I seem to like it ! 

I didn't ask again and it hasn't come back. Yet.

2 days after she returned the bracelet, under the usual pile of paper cutouts, scraps, dried leaves and flowers in her school bag I found a folded bit of thick paper. It had a cute drawing of a little girl in a ninja pose ! Could have been a dance pose. The girl had long black hair. I stared in fascination. She peeped across my shoulder and said " Raj drew it. That's my picture" ! So the story progresses!

I ironed out the sheet, folded the extra paper and pinned it on her soft board. Hmmmm....